Not every oil will resonate with you, of course. Since we are working with aromatherapy here and the general sense of smell (which is a very personal thing) you’re not likely to experience smells in the same way as anyone else.

Of course there are oils that are generally well received for use in the sexual realm for their propensity to incite desirable emotions. But you might have an aversion to an oil for any number of reasons, and that’s okay.

This post gives you a variety of options for oils to use and ways to use them. You’ll have to experiment and find what works for you (and your partner)!

Note that any of the oils below work great in an aromatherapy diffuser!

1. Rose

Rose – it’s hard to find a more romantic oil. It is often called the essential oil of love. It helps open the heart center to receive love and strength, helping a person to love oneself and reduce feelings of fear and unworthiness.

Rose stirs desire, enhances self-esteem and confidence, lifts depressive states, remedies grief, detoxes and purifies the blood, improves digestion, improves circulation, increases semen production, improves uterine function and combats stress & nervous tension.

Rose also has hormonal benefits that support menstruation, reduces the severity of PMS, delays the onset of menopause and prevent menopausal symptoms. It prevents/treats amenorrhea, which is the absence of menstruation, as well as limits/treats Dysmenorrhea (painful menstruation) by reducing spasms in the uterus.

2. Ylang Ylang

Calming in times of stress, Ylang Ylang relaxes, slows a racing heart, decreases blood pressure and boosts mood.

Ylang Ylang works effectively on the emotions. It is a well known aphrodisiac as well as a support in times of bereavement. It doesn’t matter the situation – Ylang Ylang will provide what you need to balance out emotional hyper-arousal or upset.

It’s calming effects are particularly helpful to make your sexual experience feel deeper and more profound. It prevents both Tachycardia (rapid heartbeat) and Hyperpnea (fast, shallow breathing). This soothes the emotions of anxiety, anger, worry and fear – and gets you in the mood for some loving!

3. Sandalwood

Sandalwood is one of the oldest known perfume materials. It’s been used for at least 4,000 years continuously. Sandalwood is a potent tension reliever, relaxes muscles and calms blood pressure. In India it is often combined with rose in the famous scent aytar. The smell alone is enough to relieve a days worth of stress and tension (for me at least).

4. Rosewood

Rosewood has a calming effect on the mind, instilling feelings of confidence and self esteem. Rosewood is a mood lifter – known to cut through depression and produce a positive outlook on life. It’s renowned for instilling positive feels of hope and optimism. Great emotions to have boosting your sexuality!

5. Clary sage

Clary sage boasts some great benefits: it’s deeply relaxing, promotes euphoria, feelings of well being and acts as a powerful aphrodisiac. If you’re looking for some creativity in the bedroom clary sage can help. It’s known to boost creativity by supporting focus in the mind, putting things into perspective and creating inspirational thoughts.

Clary sage is also a valuable hormone balancing oil that helps to relive symptoms of PMS, eases menstrual cramps and alleviates menopausal symptoms.

6. Cedarwood

Cedarwood has a warming and gentle action on the mind and body. It also has an amazing scent – perhaps my personal favorite. It’s a great option for massage as it alleviates stress and muscular tension.

7. Neroli

Neroli, also known as orange blossom, helps to uplift the mind, calm the senses. It has been used for centuries as a natural aphrodisiac in many countries. It instills confidence and dispel feelings of anger. It is so soothing to the heart that it is often used in cases of panic attacks.

8. Patchouli

Patchouli oil is a mood uplifter. It brings relief to stress related tensions, eases anxiety and promotes an overall sense of well being. It affects the nervous system and brings rest to frigidity, nervous tension and stress related complaints

9. Jasmine

Jasmine has an amazing smell, aphrodisiac qualities and provides a balancing effect on the nervous system. Jasmine works on an emotional level, helping to calm frayed nerves and remedy depression, nervous exhaustion and stress-related conditions. It produces a feeling of optimism, confidence and euphoria. It’s most useful in cases of apathy, indifference or listlessness. Use it to get the passion flowing!

A great way to introduce lavender oil into your bedroom plans is to mix 2 drops with 1/2 teaspoon of carrier oil and massage over the heart area.

10. Lavender

Lavender, as many of you know, is a fantastic all around healer and instiller of peace, calm and relaxed feelings. It’s fragrance soothes and sets the mood for both calm and passion.

11. Geranium

Geranium is a fragrant oil that balances the emotions and gets the blood flowing! It has a balancing effect on hormones and increases circulation by enlarging capillaries.

Tip: to clear the room of negative energies and bring balance to your space diffuse 5 drops of the oil.

12. Cinnamon

Cinnamon oil is sure to bring some warmth and spice into the relationship. Feeling sluggish? Use cinnamon if you’re looking to add a stimulating quality to your sexual life. It’s great for the skin, circulation and nervous system as well.

Relaxing, intimate massage oil recommendations

Starting out with a relaxing essential oil massage can help us shake off the mundane, daily stress-filled energy that we so often carry into the bedroom.

The world we live in today doesn’t put enough importance on relaxation. In fact, many of us willingly strive and strain and run ourselves thin, day in and day out.

And our culture’s emphasis on fast paced, stressful lifestyles often carries over into the bedroom, too.

One of the best ways to improve sex and intimacy is to learn to relax. I don’t necessarily mean take it slow… you can have relaxed passion that’s breathtakingly intense. But focusing on slow and sensuous in the beginning stages of arousal can greatly enhance the peaks that you’ll encounter later.

And it will help you invite in the intense, passionate energy into your love making later – without over straining your nerves.

Below you’ll find some essential oils that are recommended for your sensual massage.

People carry many insecurities into the bedroom, so I’ve chosen oils that are specifically tailored to creating ease in individuals who have emotional hangups, whether around sex or not.

•     Aphrodisiac: Clary sage, Jasmine, Neroli, Patchouli, Rose, Rosewood, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang
•     Anxiety: Bergamot, Chamomile, Clary sage, Cypress, Frankincense, Geranium, Juniper, Lavender, Mandarin, Marjoram, Melissa, Neroli, Petitgrain, Rose, Ylang Ylang
•     Nervous exhaustion: Basil, Clary sage, Clove, Geranium, Grapefruit, Lavender, Mandarin, Rosemary, Tea Tree, Thyme, Ylang Ylang
•     Restlessness: Bergamot, Chamomile, Mandarin, Marjoram, Ylang Ylang
•     Sexual insecurity: Clary sage, Jasmine, Rose, Rosewood, Ylang Ylang

Massage itself is calming to the nervous system, which makes it great for bonding and as a prerequisite to sex.

When you add some of the oils listed above into the mix, you’re sure to enhance your evening!

Making your massage oil

It’s recommended for a full body massage oil blend that you use around 50 drops of EOs per 4 ounces of carrier oil (Argan, Coconut, Sesame, Sweet almond, Jojoba, Grape seed, Macadamia)

For Men (and their lovers)
Essential oils for erectile dysfunction / impotence

Sexual disorders like impotency, ED (erectile dysfunction) and delayed ejaculation (DE) are an increasingly common complaint in modern relationships.

Why is this so?

There’s a lot of speculation… but many are starting to place blame on the increasing prevalence of highly stimulating online pornography.

Many male minds have become over saturated with highly stimulating pornographic images and their sex organs and glands can get depleted through excessive ejaculation.

For ED the idea being that when the the mind is tuned to extreme sexual situations a man has a harder time getting an erection through real sex. The loss of sexual fluids via frequent ejaculation can also play a role, as it depleted the energy and makes it harder to perform.

There’s a term for the phenomenon, called PIED (porn induced erectile disfunction). If you are a man, or are intimate with one, and ED a problem in an otherwise healthy body, you might consider reading up on PIED.

With that forewarning, use of pornography might not be the case in your partnership. Sometimes all it takes high levels of stress in a mans life (work stress, money concerns) – along with high expectations for sexual performance can cause impotence / ED to develop.

The best thing to do when confronting ED in men is to take as much stress out of the equation when it comes to being intimate / having sex. Instead of focusing exclusively on sex, transition to loving touch and relaxed intimacy.

The following blend has been formulated specifically for reducing instances of ED.

Affectionate touch blend

Ingredients:

•     20 drops Sandalwood
•     30 drops Cedarwood
•     15 drops Clary sage
•     10 drops Rosewood

Directions:

•     In a 5 ml glass bottle combine your essential oils
•     Shake to blend

Below you’ll find a variety of ways to use this blend.

In the bath

Directions:

•     Fill the tub with warm water
•     While filling combine 1 teaspoon milk and 4-6 drops of your Affection touch blend in a non-reactive bowl
•     Add mixture to tub and agitate to disperse the oils
•     Soak in the bath for 30 minutes (one or both of you)
•     Massage any floating droplets into yours (or each other’s) skin

Sensual massage

Directions:

•     In a small non-reactive bowl combine 4 teaspoon (20 ml) Grape seed or Sweet almond oil and 8 drops Affection touch blend
•     Mix ingredients well
•     Take turns using the massage oil to massage each other’s bodies

Conclusion

Essential oils can increase sensual and sexual energy, that’s for sure. But they shouldn’t be relied upon in the case of a faltering sexual dynamic or personal sexual issues.

Sex, attraction and arousal are complex, after all.

•     If you’re exhausted from your lifestyle, you’ll need to slow down to gather enough energy to fully enjoy sex.
•     If you’ve experienced trauma (of a sexual nature or not) and find yourself attracting the wrong kind of sexual energy into your life, you’ll want to seek focused healing.
•     If you grew up with sexual shame and your energy is restricted, leaving you unable to let go sexually/orgasmically, you’ll want to seek focused healing.

Essential oils can offer a whole lot of new fun into the bedroom, but it’s important to remember that sexual energy is very complex – and if you want to have the best sex life possible, the sex life that you deserve, essential oils should only make up a part of your search for sexual wholeness.